How I mentally handle 2 under 2

I was changing my 8 month old when I heard yet another SLAM of the bedroom door. I cringed at the thought of fingers being smashed. Brezzlynne, my almost 2 year old, has fell in love with the loud, forbidden act of slamming, throwing, swinging anything she knows she's not supposed to. In the new apartment, with few things to get into, the doors are a perfect go-to for her. I quickly fastened Bub's diaper and ran to her. She was smiling. Oh my, so ornery it's ridiculous. I resisted the urge to grit my teeth and scold her and I went with a "teaching" and "redirecting" approach. I started showing her how to "gently" close the door "easy." She did it perfectly. She clapped her little hands and was proud. I then showed her the numerous toys that could redirect the attention away from the door. I then continued on into the room to prepare for the next diaper change (diaper changes are a constant in this household, I'd challenge everyone to a timed diaper changing challenge, and I'd be nothing short of wealthy if it weren't for Costco bulk orders of diapers.) As soon as I left Brezzlynne's sight, she went back to the more-fun SLAMming option with the door. OH LORD HAVE MERCY. I ran to her, smacked her bottom and explained "You can't do that, that will hurt you, baby." Then I continued on to the diaper change. As this diaper was being changed, I hear another fiasco going on back in the "playroom." Travis Jr had pulled the Swiffer down onto his little noggin. "WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK YOU TWO," I thought. I took a deep breath and drastically started planning an escape route from the mad house..

SPOILER ALERT, there's nowhere for us mommas to go.

Another spoiler alert, this was about 10 minutes of our 24 hour day.

Trust me when I say those were not the only challenges of the rest of our day. This is obviously only one example of many with 2 under 2. Sometimes I lay in bed after these long days and wonder how it is physically and mentally possible that I am laying in bed at night with my sanity still decently in tact. I truly wonder how I made it though the day. Today, I decided to use nap time to document what I've learned to make 2 under 2 just a wee-bit more manageable. I don't think you'll be surprised at #1.

8. ME TIME. I know what you're thinking fellow momma, "no such thing." BULL HONKEY, love. Make it a thing. Have a family member take the babies, take 15 minutes of their nap time to get in a sweat or chapter from a book, wake up 20 minutes earlier to shower in peace. Make it happen. I personally aim for a walk a day, writing/reading for 30 minutes a day, a date night a week, and a nap about every other day. And if you REALLY can't coordinate any of this, SIT THE BABY DOWN and just go in the other room for a second until you can catch your breath and those shoulders and neck un-tense from the stress. You deserve you time. I may be spoiled with a husband that is so helpful and family who is close by part-time but I can't help but think YOU CAN MAKE YOU TIME HAPPEN.

7. ALTERNATING IS BETTER IF YOU CAN.

Ok, so sometimes it's super easy to forget that my Brezzy girl (almost 2) is still a baby too! Sure, she's slightly more dependent than TJ (8 month old) but she's still a baby and therefore, she needs to be babied a bit still. She needs attention. "Terrible two's" are going to be even uglier for me if I fail to give her attention and leave her seeking attention. So for this reason, I've done my best to "alternate" them. I try to only have 1 up at time/1 napping at a time. This allows for 1 on 1 time.

Another reason I alternate is because having 1 baby up at a time is just more manageable!

In a SUPER perfect world, do the alternating deal but OVERLAP the nap times just a hair. What I mean is, maybe put one down about 30 minutes before you expect the other up that way you can get in some ME TIME.

6. COMMUNICATE.

Communication is my favorite tip for anything: marriage, sports, friendship, business, mental health, efficiency, and more. Momma, if you're feeling overwhelmed, talk with your significant other, baby daddy, family member or even psychologist. They have teledocs that are amazing. This is something you should make time for if you should need it. Talk to someone. If you need help, ask.

"I'm fine," was probably my worst nemesis. As mothers, we feel so obligated to hold it all together when sometimes all we are ready to do is fall apart. As a former athlete, I was taught to suck it up. So there I was saying "I'm fine" and that only led to blind-siding everyone when I absolutely lost my poop. Don't be that woman. Just talk. And if you feel like you have no one to talk to.. you LIE because I promise my Lord and savior can pull you out of any hole you've dug yourself in this category. Talk talk talk even if it's with HIM. 5. LIMIT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA TIME.

I could write a whole different article on why this is a good idea but staying on the category of handling my munchkins, staying off social media helps me stay in the moment. They're growing up so fast I can't stand it. TJ will be taking his first steps any day now and Brezzlynne is biting at the bit to say new words and learn. If I'm on my phone, I'm missing the opportunity to see or be apart of those things. It just makes me think of the song "don't blink." It's more like "don't scroll." I should re-write that version.

Social media also leads to comparing, temptation at envy, brain-frying, excessive ads that lead to shopping, and just senseless knowledge.

Now DISCLAIMER: I fail at this may days. It's an addicting habit and to be honest, our situation calls for some social posts for friends, fans, and most importantly, family to stay up to date. We are a some-what public family and social media is apart of our daily lives. It's how we stay connected. However, we are working as a family to limit this as it does more harm than good.

4. HAVE RESPECTFUL SELECTIVE HEARING ABOUT ADVISE.

Anyone every hit you with the "I've raised 3 of my own, so I know a thing or two." My reply to this is, "Yes momma, you've raised a couple kids and they're amazing and they've survived and you're incredible but you haven't raised MY KIDS!" Don't get me wrong, I totally love sharing my mommahood knowledge. LOVE IT. (Hence, this article). However, take it or leave it depending on if it does or does not apply to you and your babes. All situations are different and all babies/kids are different. You're going to get SOOO many inputs. And to be honest, most of the time, it's really helpful information and we SHOULD listen. Especially to our own mothers (I know, I know! Hard to admit mom is usually right!). However, it's OK to say "thank you for that advise" and NEVER EVER even attempt to apply it. I would venture to say that 100% of the time, those giving advise have the best of intentions but I would also venture to say that those same advise-givers 100% believe their way is the best way and that is also ok! It just may not be the best way for you. Have confidence in your own, innate knowledge and your special intel on your own babies and trust you will do what's needed/necessary. It's in our DNA! You are so capable, momma. So take the advise, or don't take the advise but always be respectful.

3. EAT, SLEEP, HAVE A SELF-CARE ROUTINE and/or EXERCISE.

My girl, Brezzy, didn't sleep all night until about 10 months and even to this day she wants to wedge herself between the hubby and I. When TJ was born they two of them plotted against me and alternated wake-ups and teamed up on sleep regressions. I started quickly realizing that my number one trigger for becoming monster-mom was lack of food and sleep. We just need those things. Just make it happen. Nap when they nap if they're tired. The chores can wait.

Also, eat healthy! Have some quick snacks. If you're anything like me, you over commit. You make plans to make elaborate meals that end up spoiling in the fridge. Have some quick healthy options that you have a baby on you hip and still chow. I like to keep grilled chicken in a container that I'll grab and eat cold if I have to.

Lastly, but not leastly (I know not a word), EXERCISE. Exercise is like a natural pill you can take to regulate EVERYTHING. Your weight, your hormones/mood, your schedule, you periods, literally EVERYTHING. This can be apart of your ME TIME. Just walking is great, only taking the stairs, or parking in the back of parking lots. Just do it, sis.

2. DON'T OVER COMMIT.

I'm a go-getter. I flipping love a full plate. I want to help Georgia with that fundraiser and I want to lead that bible study with Betty and I want to run that 5K on Saturday and I want to do it all with one baby in the kangaroo pouch and the other baby in the backpack-baby-holder-thingy. I love it. I'll say yes to Jasmine to flying out to see her. I'll have a flight at 9AM and commit to breakfast before hand at 7 and then I'll let Taylor know I'll be in town and can probably grab drinks with her before I head back home, too. Oh, and grandma, yes, I can call you on the drive to drinks. Like WOAH there, SLOW DOWN. BE STILL. Don't over commit and don't be afraid to say no. Embrace the opportunity to sit in bed and read a book or go sneak up on hubby and ask him for some "innocent cuddles" (inside joke but you can figure it out). Just enjoy downtown. It was just last week that I was heartbroken to cancel a bible study. I mean a BIBLE STUDY! I mean, how dare me! But I forgave myself, it's what I needed to be sane.

AND 1. PATIENCE.

Be patient with your kids, be patient with your mom trying to give you advise (cough , cough lecturing), be patient with God's timing, be patient with the AC guy who said he'd be there at 9 but called you about the delay at 1, be patient with the gal at the grocery store who mean mugged you the whole check-out, be patient with your neighbor who's dog keeps laying logs in your yard, be patient with those in pain in our country right now, be patient with your husband who is really trying is best but just isn't as versed in the same things you are, and most importantly, please BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF. Be patient with your recovering body, be patient with your recovering, relapsing, and recovering mental state, be patient with your lack of patience. Just be patient and if you aren't patient, pray boldly and specifically for more patience.